Monday, February 18, 2013

Virginal Tramp: Taylor Swift

Let me begin this by saying that I think Taylor Swift is a tramp. I don't care about the innocent act she tries to pull off, this chick is a tramp. I know people in the entertainment industry go through relationships like most people go through toilet paper, but Swift seems to be intent on taking things to a new level. It seems she is with a new guy every other day. Who does this broad think she's fooling? She may have those idiot yokels that buy into the whole country music thing fooled, but not me. There is a saying "you are the company you keep." Well, Taylor Swift has been involved with a member of (and seems to idolize) the Kennedy family. The Kennedy's are Massachusetts resident white trash dynasty. Boozers, womanizers, and philanderers. If this is the company she keeps, her innocent schtick is most definitely an act. Oh... and she's dated John Mayer as well. One of Hollywood's better examples of "white trash with money." Moving on, there is the matter of Taylor Swift's music. I know it is classified as country, but I haven't heard anything of her's that comes remotely close to country music. It sounds like fairly garden variety pop music with a little bit of bad acoustic guitar playing. Her vocal performance is akin to listening to someone drag a roofing nail across a chalkboard. In some ways, i think that would be a preferable sound. Lyrically, all of Swift's songs revolve around one of two things.. breaking up with some random guy (i guess this is a trait she has in common with country artists), or how badly the guy supposedly wants her back. One has to ask the question, who would want her back? She's not very attractive, and if she's not a skank... she has to have some type of off putting personality to keep driving these guys away, but that's a completely separate rant unto itself. Swift needs to find some new topics to write about quickly, the broken heart schtick is only good for so long before it becomes tiresome. In the wardrobe department (and we all know how much pop stars love their outlandish costumes), Swift looks like she attended a yard sale held by Ike and Tina Turner. If swift insists upon wearing form fitting, flamboyant dresses.... someone needs to get that girl a lifetime supply of Twinkies fast. She looks like, despite all of her money, she hasn't eaten in years. I've seen malnourished Ethiopians with more heft to them than Taylor Swift. Her fucking vertebrae look like they are on the verge of puncturing the skin for fuck's sake. People bitch about their sons idolizing people like Roger Clemons, but seem to have no qualms with their daughters holding up Taylor Swift as some type of role model. So somehow it is wrong for your male child to idolize a man who may or may not have used steroids, but it is okay for your daughter to look up to a no talent, obviously anorexic girl who seems to have been plugged more times than the Hoover Dam? I don't see how people make this trade off. Personally, I find all of these self-described "virgin" celebrities to be a bit creepy (especially that football player guy, but again... that's another rant unto itself). I'm not a parent, but if you want my advice people.... you shouldn't have your kids aspiring to live like any of their favourite celebrities, whether they are a purr-tend virgin or not. As for tonight's photo... I have to extend a special thanks to Shayne for finding me this photo of Taylor Swift wearing what could only be described as a "grandma sweater.":