Saturday, October 31, 2015

Take Your Kid off of the Leash and Stop Being Paranoid

In honor of Halloween, I thought I would post a little rant. For the last few years, I have been hearing about a practice called "trunk or treating" that seems to be growing in prevalence. For those of you unfamiliar, this is a practice where paranoid parents bring their costumed children to a parking lot at a church, school, or some other nanny statist approved venue and let them go from car to car getting candy. This is the result of ever present parental paranoia that always seems to reach a bit of a fever pitch around this time of year. If the child is allowed to walk around the neighborhood getting candy, surely some of it will be poisoned, contain drugs, contain a sharp, metallic object, or some kiddie snatcher will grab them. None of that is true, of course. There has never been a documented case of random strangers poisoning Halloween candy or tainting it with recreational pharmaceuticals. As sharp objects in Halloween candy go, there have been 80 cases since 1959. Almost all of them proved to be hoaxes, and only about 10 resulted in even minor injury. Research has also shown that children are at no greater risk of being victims of crimes on Halloween. The bottom line is, stop ruining Halloween for your children by being a paranoid idiot who falls victim to every bullshit assertion made in social media memes. Despite what you hear from bloviating opinion journalists, the U.S. is safer now than it was 20 years ago.

Thank you and happy Halloween.